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I want my kids to be confident and happy

Mom, Ashley takes primary responsibility for the day-to-day with their kids. She talks to us about her hopes for their kids.

I want both my children to know how special they are — unique and gifted in their own ways. I want them to have a healthy self-confidence and know their self-worth and to be happy and healthy. I want them to thrive and live up to their potential. I definitely expect them both to go to college and I hope they’ll have successful careers and the families that they want. So, for them I want the basic stuff: happiness, love, and health.

I’ve always been sort of a hovering parent and I realized at some point I can’t hover anymore. That’s hard and as a mama bear, I struggle with it daily. I want to jump in and solve the problems. I want to protect them, to keep them from making mistakes. I want to pave a path so that they don’t have as many struggles as we did, but that’s not necessarily the best thing. Learning from their own choices and mistakes is a much more powerful lesson than somebody telling them how to do it.

I think every day is a new opportunity to learn and grow. Relationships are something that we are working on — dealing with other people differently. My son is a really gentle, sweet, kind — not perfect — little guy and he’s kind of an easy target for a lot of the boys that are just more aggressive. I worry about him. I want him to know that he has a voice and that he is appreciated for who he is. One of his friends said, “You know, Ames, you’re such a nice guy, but it seems like sometimes nice guy is not working out for you. Maybe you need to try something else.” Ames told him, “You know, it’s okay if it’s not working out for me because I think there needs to be a nice guy and that’s gonna be me.”

My 11-year old boy sees value in who he is. He knows what’s right; but he knows there’s a cost. He’s willing to sacrifice social standing to do what is right and that’s amazing. I’m so proud of him for that.

– Ashley in San Francisco